Confessions of a Needy Friend

What is it we love about the mundane, the everyday, the commercialism? I love the beautiful weather, the flexibility of being in classes, and working part-time, and being able to appreciate that beautiful weather. I love the phone call of a good friend. It always comes at the right time. Sometimes, it doesn’t come when you need it. Or when you want it. Sometimes you just crave that contact, that honest interest in you. I crave that… It’s one of those things that makes your day wonderful, that takes the rain from depressing to something to celebrate. I am slightly needy. I need confirmation from people outside of myself. I have confidence, I know I am smart, and I know I am (somewhat) attractive, and I know that people like me. I know I am a good poet. I am a damn good poet. I know I could be a better poet though, also. Sometimes, I really need to hear these things. When I’m under a lot of stress, when the tests are all coming up one on top of the other (and not just school tests. sometimes friends like to test you, too). When work does not leave me time to study, when there are three dogs in the house that won’t stop barking, when the rent is due and the money isn’t there. That is when I need to hear someone say, “Hey, you are doing really well at _____,” or “Wow, you are really hot tonight,” or, say, “I read that new poem on your blog and I thought it was great,” or even “I thought you could work on that and that in your new poem.” Sometimes, I need to hear that, and believe it. I am not really a people person. My friends can be counted on one hand or so. I rely on them to know when I need to be needy.
I know you need to be recognized, too, and I try. Honestly I try to be earnest and listening and insightful for you when you need it. I am a good listener. I listen, and respond, and I try to use the effective communications techniques I have learned about in my Interpersonal Communications class. The problem is, we have to actually be talking to utilise those friendships in a way that is supporting and fair for everybody.
To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m rambling about this right now… I am kinda bored and when I get bored, I like to read or write. So I am writing.

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